When I first ventured into the mono-poly relationship with my husband, I read a lot of books, blogs and articles on polyamory, but there was nothing out there that addressed the challenges of being a monogamous person with a polyamorous partner. There was one Facebook group called Poly + Mono Relationships. It was helpful in some ways, but many mono folks, myself included, sometimes felt dominated by poly rhetoric, that it wasn’t really a safe space to get support and feedback for our own particular issues.
In 2016, a mono person from that group formed Monos Loving Polys, a Facebook group that was strictly for monos (no polys allowed) to express our feelings, ask our questions, describe our situations, and even delve into dark feelings or humor about our situations. It was what many of us needed, and other groups for monos have formed since then.
When my marriage with my poly husband ended in the Spring of 2020, there still were no books out there for monos with poly partners. Monos still had to rely on books on polyamory to learn how to be with their partners. With all my perspective and experience, I knew it was time for me to write my book. That’s how Mono in a Poly World was born. Here it is, a book for those of us who know what it’s like inside this kind of relationship, a new source to get information and guidance and support.
Photo by Zoltan Tasi, courtesy of Unsplash.